I mean, they are really giving it their all at least.

Harlie’s Very Merry Movie List — It’s beginning to look a lot like a socially distanced Christmas…

After searching high and low for a Christmas movie that released on December 6, I finally broke open the Pandora’s box of Christmas content. Yes, it is our first feature of a Lifetime film. I’ve resisted the allure of turning to a channel that churns out Christmas content faster than James Patterson’s ghost writers churn out books, but the rules forced my hand. Which, as a refresher, are:

1. I can only watch Christmas movies.
2. I can only watch Christmas movies that have come out on the same day of viewing.
3. Only in the case when no films have been released on the day of viewing may I watch a Christmas movie filmed in years past. However, it must be a Christmas movie which I have previously not seen.
4. On Christmas Eve, I will watch Die Hard.

In a weird turn, my mom absolutely hated this one and I… didn’t. So let’s see how this review goes.

*****************************************************************

(WARNING: THIS MOVIE ISN’T GOOD, BUT IT IS BETTER THAN A CHRISTMAS CATCH. I MIGHT SPOIL IT, BUT I DON’T KNOW IF YOU CAN SPOIL A LIFETIME MOVIE.)

Title of Film: Christmas Ever After

Rating: G

Release Date: December 6, 2020

Where to Watch: Lifetime

Synopsis: A romance novelist hits a writing road block when she loses touch with real love, but a single father and the Christmas spirit might find their way into her soul (and book!).

I will admit, I was very pessimistic going into this watch. My mom busted into my room after her viewing, sorrow writ into her eyes, and said, “Harlie, it’s terrible. It’s so, so terrible.”

I hope you can imagine the fear those words strike into the heart of someone who doesn’t really care for Christmas movies. If my mom, known lover of all things St. Nick, couldn’t stomach this one, it almost certainly spelled out doom for my soul.

But here I stand, alive and well and more than a little embarrassed to say I didn’t hate this movie. I don’t know why, but maybe I just haven’t watched enough Hallmark/Lifetime movies to know when one is actually a rotten egg(nog).

Perhaps to save face, I will digress and admit this isn’t a good movie. Far from it. But it has some fun moments, the Canadian scenery was nice to look at, and I really appreciated the love interest played by Daniel di Tomasso (who my mom said was nice to look at, too). He was earnest in his performance and did this movie a lot of favors, especially when the dialogue lacked substance and the romance had to be played through COVID-required plexiglass. Not even movie magic can close the awkward space between kisses, lips concealed by hair and elbows to prevent us from seeing faces squished against a window.

This is the first flick I’ve watched this season which was filmed during the pandemic and it is such a strange context to consider. I will give credit where it is due and admit this movie does a good job of making us forget about the socially-distanced reality the rest of us live. Even my mom didn’t realize there was glass in the majority of scenes, but perhaps she was blinded by the rage she felt at having to endure everything else this film throws at you (i.e., the lead abandoning her feelings because Tomasso was hugging another girl and a clearly rigged Christmas lights competition). Personally, I would love to see a movie embrace the pandemic, where the actors have to film with masks on and have virtual dates. Give me a love story six feet apart or else, you cowards.

Unfortunately, I have another review I need to write for December 7 and I much preferred the movie I watched for it, so I’m going to wrap things up here with a quick dispersal of Holly Berries.

Christmas Movie Expert Kris Ford’s Holly Berries

1. Plot: 2/5
2. Ending: 2/5
3. Set Design: 2.5/5
4. Characters/Acting: 1.5/5
5. Christmas: 3.5/5

Asked for further comment on her 11.5 out of 25 Holly Berries, my mom stated with resolution, “I will never watch this again.”

Harlie’s Holly Berries

1. Plot: 2/5
2. Ending: 2.5/5
3. Set Design: 3/5
4. Characters/Acting: 2/5
5. Christmas: 3.5/5

I let out a breath of relief when I realized I gave this movie 13 out of 25 Holly Berries. I mean it was a full body exhale. Not that this is a good score by any means, but it definitely beats The Christmas Catch, which makes me feel better about the moments I did enjoy from this film. As an eternally single lady who is currently in a relationship with a bowl of pasta on Facebook, sometimes it’s okay to let the warmth of a cheesy romance fill your cold and barren heart. Oh god, I sound like the lead of this movie. Please… no… I can hear the Christmas bells tolling and there’s a ruggedly handsome fellow bleeding out in the streets… I don’t want this… Lifetime, when did you get into my house —